When my mom first passed away I would jokingly tell people that she wasn’t dead, but that she and Tupac were somewhere kicking it. Lol… Although, I wasn’t serious, because I had personally witnessed my mom’s transition from life to death in a matter of seconds with my own eyes. It was my own little way to separate myself from the reality that my mom was no longer here. I was subconsciously in denial. It was my way of protecting myself from the painful reality that my one and only mother had died, at what I thought to be an early age of 56. Leaving me here alone to live without her. That thought alone still brings tears to my eyes and a sharp pain through my chest. Due to that pain, I deal with the reality a little bit at a time. Using my journal, prayer and my support system to help keep me sane.
Denial is defined as the action of declaring something to be untrue. My belief is that we operate in this state when something is too emotionally difficult for us to accept. Just like losing a loved one or accepting that divorce may be the only answer to a marriage. It is important to know that the longer you operate in the state of denial, the greater the pain will be once reality hits. For this reason, I suggest that you deal with the reality of your loss soon whether than later. Find someone who can help you through your grieving process, a counselor, a pastor or a wise friend. Having support will help you not to feel alone, as well as give you direction.
I hope this brief story has helped you or even encouraged you. I will continue to blog about The Journey of Grief over the next few weeks. Join me next week as I break down the next 4 stages of the 5 stages of grief.