The Journey of Grief – Denial


When my mom first passed away I would jokingly tell people that she wasn’t dead, but that she and Tupac were somewhere kicking it. Lol… Although, I wasn’t serious, because I had personally witnessed my mom’s transition from life to death in a matter of seconds with my own eyes. It was my own little way to separate myself from the reality that my mom was no longer here. I was subconsciously in denial. It was my way of protecting myself from the painful reality that my one and only mother had died, at what I thought to be an early age of 56. Leaving me here alone to live without her. That thought alone still brings tears to my eyes and a sharp pain through my chest.  Due to that pain, I deal with the reality a little bit at a time. Using my journal, prayer and my support system to help keep me sane.

Denial is defined as the action of declaring something to be untrue. My belief is that we operate in this state when something is too emotionally difficult for us to accept. Just like losing a loved one or accepting that divorce may be the only answer to a marriage. It is important to know that the longer you operate in the state of denial, the greater the pain will be once reality hits. For this reason, I suggest that you deal with the reality of your loss soon whether than later. Find someone who can help you through your grieving process, a counselor, a pastor or a wise friend. Having support will help you not to feel alone, as well as give you direction.


I hope this brief story has helped you or even encouraged you. I will continue to blog about The Journey of Grief over the next few weeks. Join me next week as I break down the next 4 stages of the 5 stages of grief.

The Journey of Grief – Erika McFarland

Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, and philosophical dimensions.

The Five Stages of Grief…

  1. Denial
  2. Bargaining
  3. Anger
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

Dealing With Grief…

Dealing with grief can be difficult, because it causes us to look at ourselves, furthermore, it causes us to acknowledge that there is something wrong with us. But, not dealing with grief can cause more damage than grief itself. Here are 3 steps to help a person deal with grief.

  1. Acknowledge what it is that you are feeling.
  2. Know that it’s ok to have that emotional response to the loss of someone that you care for.
  3. Replace your unhealthy responses to your emotions with a healthy response. For example: If when you become angry, you respond by lashing out at others. That would be considered to be an unhealthy response. But, if when you became angry you decided to respond to that emotion by writing in a journal, that would be considered a healthy response. You are still acknowledging your emotion and finding a way to express it, but by writing it in your journal you keep from hurting others and damaging relationships.

I hope this brief information has helped you. I will continue to blog about The Journey of Grief over the next few weeks. Join me next week as I break down the 5 stages of grief.